Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:29-32
It’s going to happen in friendships. We’re going to perceive things differently. I’m not going to respond fast enough or the right way. And I’m not going to pick up on a hint that you’re hurt. I’m human. I make mistakes.
I’m gonna let you down.
How do we deal with this and move on?
I care about our friendship. I want to know right away if I’ve hurt or offended you. We are seeking to be real, right? If I just talk to others about it and never share with you I will be full of bitterness and anger not a true friend willing to fight for our relationship. Let us come together humble and ready to see any misperceptions and truly listen from the heart.
How do we deal with and get past our hurts and disappointment?
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. – Colossians 3:12-14
I need to learn to take responsibility for what I may have done to hurt you and then ask for forgiveness. Hoping that you would do the same. If not, I need to still forgive. Whether that means our friendship changes a bit, I don’t know. God changes hearts and lives.
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” – C.S. Lewis
God has forgiven us for everything, who am I to say that I won’t forgive?
So, as I fumble through friendships I will let you down and others will let me down. How I deal with that disappointment and forgive shows whether I truly love like Christ loves. (I’m not talking about toxic relationships where we are abused that need to end.)
I pray that as followers of Jesus people will see Him in us through our friendships. There are a lot of shallow, petty relationships among women in the world, so let’s display the love of Jesus through Real Friendships. Sharing lives, thinking beyond ourselves and loving.
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