I couldn’t be married to myself. I’d drive myself nuts. Plus, we’d always be late, procrastinate on every project, never be quite sure what was in the checking account, and have an overbooked schedule saying “yes” to every request that came our way. (Kind of like when I was single!)
And that is why I treasure the differences in me & my spouse. He is regimented where I am undisciplined. He is timely when I am rushed. He is analytical when I am abstract. He likes to be home when I am always on-the-go. He is private. I’m a blogger :-).
We’ve taken a slew of personality tests all showing what is so very clear. We are different. Very different. Almost near opposites in fact.
And quite frankly, that didn’t always feel like something to treasure.
When we were dating, it all seemed fantastic. He was everything I wanted to be! He got up at 5 AM to head to the gym everyday. He remembered everyone’s birthday. His music was organized alphabetically! He was content to spend the whole day with just me.
After we married, the enchanting difference began to feel like glaring faults.
“What do you mean you don’t want to make plans with friend this weekend? What do you want to do? Sit home all day?”
“No, I didn’t move anything on your tool bench.”
“I know you don’t like large crowd, but everyone is going to be there!”
“I don’t know how your friends at work found out about that. Oh wait. Maybe I did post something on Facebook.”
Our view on these differences changed when we finally grasp this biblical concept for marriage. Each of us is God’s provision for the other. It is He who made us different and then called us to live life together. Instead of thinking, “Why is she acting this way? It must be just to purposefully annoy me”, Dave would think, “Okay Lord. You made her different. You called me to love her. What are You trying to teach me in this situation? Help me see this through her eyes.”
See, God has a plan for each of us. And it isn’t to leave us like we are. His plan is all about transformation, and nothing can bring about some perspective changes and relational rework like living beside someone who is so totally different from you.
What differences exist between you and your spouse? Do you treasure them? Do you need to learn to embrace those difference as part of God’s provision for your transformation?
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