First, can I just tell you how excited I am to be joining the team at Fancy Little Things! A dream come true to join such talented writers, sharing a vision to spread good news!
Second, can I tell you how ironic it is that this month’s topic is friendship. Hilarious even.
We recently moved so my husband could take a dream job. I left my job to begin a new role, taking care of our home and family and growing a human who’s due to make his appearance at the end of October. It’s a role that I am so excited for — to love and serve my family in new ways!
But in this season of transition, it’s funny we’re talking about friendship because, well, I don’t really have any.
Sure I have friends “back home,” but “home” is such a funny word anymore. I have lived in 7 different cities in 5 different states and I’ve lost track of where home really is. I made friends along the way (that I miss dearly, mind you), but here in my new “home” I got nothing.
So what do you do when you’re lonely? Or when the friendships you have aren’t quite what you need, or you just want to meet new women to share life with?
Let’s take a peek at my very own gotta-make-friends to-do list.
1. Let Go I have baggage when it comes to making friends. First there’s personal baggage. I’m an introvert; I can be shy; I don’t easily open up; I suffer from low self-esteem and find myself thinking “why would she want to be my friend anyway?”
I also have baggage related to previous friendships. I’ve been hurt; I’ve been betrayed; I’ve felt unimportant; I’ve felt ignored.
First priority is to just let it all go. Let go of what I think I deserve and what I think I don’t. Let go of expectations, and fear, and my tendency to hide and try to convince myself that I don’t really need friends to be happy.
I have to let it all go in order to gain real, deep friendships. The ones that God is working on just for me.
2. Get Out There The truth is, I’m never going to meet anyone if I don’t get out there, both figuratively and physically. I have to get out there by putting myself out there. Make myself vulnerable. Conquer my fear. Heck, ask someone to coffee!
I also have to get out of the house. We’re still playing the finding-a-church game and have some solid leads. We so want to live in community with others!
I need to walk around my block more and meet some of the stroller-toting moms. I emailed someone about a MOPS meeting and am excited at that new possibility.
3. Find Comfort In My Best Friend My husband is my main man, my sweetie, my baby daddy, and my protector if someone ever tries to break into our house.
But he’s also my best friend, and we’re in this transition together.
I need to remember to not shut him off from how I’m feeling but to be honest and help him understand how he can support me. I find that Kyle so wants to be an encouragement, but doesn’t always know how. I need to help him understand what I need during this time and how we can both find friends that we can soulfully connect with.
4. Get Back To The Best Friend Confession: during this time of longing for friendships, I think I’ve forgotten about my most important friend, Jesus.
He really is the best friend a girl can ask for.
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8
I need to keep drawing to Him as I work out my loneliness. He has a great plan for friendships in my life, but he wants nothing more than to be my best friend through each new season.
Now a challenge for you: create a “friendship to-do list” and share in the comments. I’d love to encourage each other!
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