The 72 Hour Club: What is the REAL Benefit of a Thriving Sex Life?

Here is a recap of the 72 Hour Club posts so far…

Could a Good Sex Life Change Your Marriage? – The idea…could marriages be transformed by the simple commitment to respect & respond to our husband’s God-given needs for sexual intimacy and to make this aspect of our marriages a priority?

What to Do When You are Too Pooped to Whoop?Overcoming the most frequently noted obstacle to a good sex life…exhaustion!

What if the Desire for Sex is Missing? – Prompted by comments of readers, I attempt to address the more difficult obstacle of a lack of sexual desire, both for wives or husbands.

What Changes are You Seeing? – A compilation of feedback from 72 Hour Club Members about what changes they are seeing in themselves and in their marriages.


ThrivingSex Today, I’m asking “What is the REAL benefit to a Thriving Sex Life in Your Marriage?”

The short answer is INTIMACY.

The longer answer is the beautiful manifestation of the fullness of intimacy – physical, emotional, and spiritual – that happen in the acts of sexual intimacy.

As women, we are wired by God with a high need for emotional intimacy.  It allows us to be the helpers, the lovers, the caretakers in our marriages, families and communities.  God also designed men with a prominent need, and that is physical intimacy.  Wait.  Did God make a mistake here?  Why would He design us so differently?

No mistakes here.  God is faultless.  Instead this design beautifully shows the blending of these two needs…

For women, often emotional connection drives our desire for sex, while for our men, sexual connection drives their desire for emotional intimacy.

This can create a wonderful balance in our marriages.  Or it can cause a lot of conflict and heartache.

As you can see, it can be easy to get this cycle out of whack.  Wives feel disconnected emotionally from their husbands, maybe during a busy season of life or a time of conflict, and they aren’t interested in sexual intimacy.  Meanwhile, husbands without the sexual connection to their wives become more emotional detached.


The solution requires someone to do one of the most difficult (and most transforming) commands of the Christian walk…to die to “self”, to value others above ourselves.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4


We also learn that love is not self-seeking, but in fact, self-sacrificing. (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)


“The lack of regular sex is a significant barrier to emotional connectedness and intimacy for men.” – Dr. Juli Slattery, Focus on the Family


If you find you are hungry for emotional connection within your marriage, if you are feeling distant from your husband and that is causing you to be disinterested in being sexually intimate, consider taking the first step and initiating sex with your man.  It might be the beginning of reestablishing the balanced intimacy connections that will make your marriage flourish.


And, no matter what his response, as always, God will honor that selfless act made from the heart of a wife who is seeking to best love her husband.


Next week, I’ll talk about the other benefit of the innerconnection of intimacies – the spiritual one!
Are you trying the 72 Hour Club?  What connections have you seen between your sexual and emotional intimacy in your marriage?











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