there’s a common quarrel in the home of a married pair. it usually originates from a seemingly miniscule detail, but ends up encompassing an entire time together. he “just doesn’t understand,” and “she is just never satisfied,” and both just get so tired…
today i’m going to bring up the fact that it’s true; our husbands can never truly satisfy us.
we are daughters of the King and so, we wear a little tiara that summons a big emotion in our hearts. we want arms to hold us, a smile to shine just for us, acknowledgment and the affirmation of our worth. many times, we want this from our husbands. but sisters those men, as amazing as they are, can never be as present, forgiving, compassionate and loving as Jesus. they can come close, but it’s impossible for them to carry the same clean and purifying heart that our Savior does. even when we enter into marriage, their nature remains in separation from Christ and their past includes struggles of their own that need His love and power. they are His sons, after all! when we marry it is at this time especially that we must limit the pressure we put on our husbands.
stay with me ladies lol
it is not that i do not believe our husbands should care for us or be strong for us, but rather, we should not expect from them that which they could not possibly handle. this is the time we must grow that much closer to Jesus and understand the power He holds; a power that our husbands do not. this is when we must schedule regular well-visits to keep our marriage strong.
when i say “well” i mean a water well, as in the well in John 4 where Jesus meets the Samaritan woman.
here, we read that Jesus meets with a woman at the well in Sychar, Samaria. He chose to go through this city, even while knowing that the Samaritans despised the Jews, and found rest at this well. when the woman (who we can assume He knew was coming…) arrived, He spoke kindly to her and preached to her. He revealed Himself to this woman whom He knew was living in sin and struggle. right here in this moment in her life, He met her and cared for her and brought her hope.
now i think by now we all know that God loves a good damsel in distress, Amen? i mean, look at what He did for Rahab, and for Ruth, and how He comforted Esther in her trials. imagine the pain He took up for Sarah when she realized Abraham was carrying Isaac off to BE the sacrifice that day. imagine the talks He had with Mary as Jesus grew in her womb. and now, at this well, in the heat of the sun, He spoke to the “enemy” with the same love and affection.
this woman, as Jesus pointed out, had five husbands, and was with a man whom she was not married to. she was more soaked in sin and shame than anyone could be. many scholars note the time of her visit to the well as highly significant. the well was nearly two miles from the city. at noon it would be the height of the heat and terribly uncomfortable to travel. perhaps she traveled when she knew she would be alone and clear of public ridicule? the point is, she was alone and had no idea who she could call to…
but Jesus knew.
He went to that well at that time, tired Himself out to the point He needed to sit and rest, and waited for her. then He offered her life by His power, and promised to quench the thirst she experienced each day.
i love the final exchange in it all. the woman says “I know that Messiah called Christ is coming. When He comes, He will explain everything to us.” she was aware, she had the facts, she was 100% correct in her knowledge, but her relationship was ZERO. Jesus had to actually reveal Himself to her and say “I, the one speaking to you.. I am he.”
Ladies, we may not have nearly as much baggage as this woman, but we have just as much need. we all have a void in our hearts, no matter how pleasant you think you are living. we long for love and affection, and to be known. it is left there by the design of God so that we may seek Him all of our lives. our God-given husbands cannot fill it, no. not even our one-and-only heart’s desire here on earth can quench our thirst for companionship like the living water of Jesus can.
this story never reminded me of marriage until i found myself a few months in and wondering if my husband would ever “get it together.” i felt that he left me in the dark about so many things, and never could quite get a grip on what my heart needed most. i felt he would never know my love language. i felt we were doomed. heck, sometimes i still do! but i work hard each morning to meet my Savior at His well of living water and eternal life, drink up His love and tenderness, and fill myself with the Promises of His work on the cross. marriage is a commitment i do not know much about just yet, but i find life to run more smoothly when i let Jesus do His job, and remove the burden from my husband.
read the entire story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman here. find your need in the story, and set up regular “well-visits” with Jesus. if you accept what He has to offer you, you can and will create a stream of living water in your marriage that you both can draw from, and together you can grow stronger.
© 2013 – 2019, Kristin Cho. All rights reserved. Love it? Please share, pin, tweet or email but do not use my work without permission.