When did things get so complicated? Marriage is supposed to be about two people who love each other, who commit to one another, and share a life together. Marriage is supposed to be fun, right? Well, why after a few years does marriage get so hard? Why does communication seem more difficult instead of easier? Where does the romance go? Were did all the fun go?
In my 11 years of marriage my husband and I have learned A LOT! And we continue to learn everyday. Of all the advice out there we have found the following three principles are what have influenced, and benefited us most in our marriage.
Keep God Center. Need I say more? Pray together. Spend time in the Word together as well as independently. God at the center of your marriage is like the mortar securing the bricks together in a building. Bricks stacked on top of each other are strong, sure, but the minute a heavy wind comes along or something bashes up against them they will topple over with out the mortar locking them in place.
Keep talking! Don’t allow junk to infiltrate your marriage because you have let things go unsettled. Talk to each other. Keep your walls down. The minute you allow something to fester that silly wall begins to build again and, left unaddressed, your new wall will likely have some new defenses to go along with it. Some of the best advice we ever received before we were married was, “Don’t go to bed angry.” Thankfully we listened and have truly built our marriage around this principle. There have only been a few times we did allow ourselves to go to bed angry and by the time we got around to dealing with the issue days had gone by and the initial hurt had only amplified. Be open minded and strive to hear, really hear what your spouse is trying to tell you… listen to their heart in the matter even if their words aren’t clear to you. Remember – you love this guy.
Keep the silly alive. Don’t let yourselves get so serious. Have silly names for each other, chase each other around the house, and learn to laugh together. (Which often means learning to laugh at yourself too) By keeping the silly alive you keep from taking yourselves to seriously. When we take ourselves too serious pride can creep its way in and before we know it we find we are getting offended easily, we draw hidden meaning into our spouse’s words, etc. This may seem far-reaching on the topic of keeping the silly alive but I’ve experienced it first hand. The weight of this world has a sneaky way of robbing us of our ability to just be free and silly. Work at keeping the silly alive and your marriage will benefit greatly.
These three principles applied to our marriage have inadvertently kept the junk out of our marriage. Because God is at the center and we continue to communicate with one another we prevent junk like hurt, confusion, and insecurity from creeping in and influencing our relationship. We are then free to be silly, have fun, and keep the romance alive as well.
Dear Jesus, begin to stir in each person now revealing ways in which they can strengthen their marriage and place you front and center. Soften hearts that may have hardened over the years. Give wisdom to those who long to communicate better with their spouse. Restore joy to those who have lost the silly in their marriage. Restore marriages today. In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen.
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