Stacy has shared her writing here on FLT before. When it comes to the FLT family, she’d be like a favorite cousin :-), so of course, we are thrilled to have her join the reunion during our Guest Week!
I hate being judged. I’m sure I’m not alone. I mean, who judges someone else and determines (and tells) the other person that they’re the winner? The last thing I need is for others to be keeping score. In fact, I just don’t want others to judge me. Period.
But it happens. All the time to both you and me. But here’s this crazy thing: by judging others, we invite judgment upon ourselves. Someone recently explained to me that Matthew 7:1 (“Judge not, or you too will be judged”) isn’t just a good standard or part of the Golden Rule. It is a spiritual principle stating that if we judge we WILL be judged. Absolutely. Definitively. No questions asked. In my judgement of others, I invite judgement.
This principle became readily apparent as I typed an e-mail to my husband. As a writer, sometimes its just easier to express myself on paper (or the computer) than in person. I began explaining that when he called me a slob a few months back, I felt he was saying he was always clean and tidy and I wasn’t. This judgement hits deeper each time I pick up his dirty underwear, put his shoes back in the closet, collect his used glasses from around the house and more. Normally I wouldn’t mind those things, yet now that he’s declared himself the winner over me in the neatness category (and especially more painful because he called me a slob only after I put away something he left out), I find it extremely difficult to pick up after him without thinking “Oh, yeah. Well who’s the real slob?”
Judgement Out=Judgement In
That’s where it gets beyond tricky for me. He judged me, and now I feel an uncanny urge to do the same. Perhaps it comes from that spiritual principal that he invited the judgement upon himself. Yet here’s the kicker: if I judge him in return, guess what happens? You got it! I invite more judgement upon myself. Agh! Perhaps that’s why I wrote him that e-mail this morning as my attempt to get clarity or closure before heaping judgement (or more judgement is more accurate).
See, it sounds easy when it comes to refuting names people call us (well, I’m actually not even sure that one is easy). But what about day-to-day things, even those things including strangers? I was driving this morning, thinking about what I’d write in this post, when a car suddenly switched into my lane. I quickly checked my blindspot and swerved into the other lane to avoid being hit.
With the AC on and the windows rolled up, I started to say, “Helllllooooooooo. Are you du…. Oh.” I stopped myself mid-sentence, realizing the judgement I was about to pass on someone else. Besides, I’ll never be in the running for winning any type of driving awards (at least not any positive ones!) and I’m sure I’ve nearly sideswiped others before. I quickly thanked God for making me aware of the ease with which I judge and thanked Him for keeping me safe while I drove. And with that, I laid that piece of judgement to rest.
I don’t like keeping score, but if we have to, here’s the tally: one moment of deciding to not judge today vs. two (more like too) many instances of not grumbling or complaining against another. But I’m aware of the battle now and I’m taking up arms. Are you in?
Stacy Voss celebrates a life of forgiveness and second chances. She is a speaker for women’s retreats, an author, but is most proud to be called Mama by her two (usually) incredible kids. She is the founder of Eyes of Your Heart Ministries, which helps people “See Life Differently. Live Courageously.”
© 2013, Aimee. All rights reserved. Love it? Please share, pin, tweet or email but do not use my work without permission.