My dad died the day after my son was born.
He died of a brain tumor that we didn’t even know he had until his brain exploded in seizure activity two weeks prior.
I had to make the choice between being at one hospital with my family as my dad died, or staying at another hospital with my 24 hour old son and letting my body heal.
He died 6 days before Thanksgiving. 12 days before my 30th birthday. A month before Christmas. 6 months before his youngest child will graduate high school.
It’s not fair.
I don’t think anyone would think twice if I was furious at God.
3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
I’ve never believed that God does things like this to us. It’s just not how He works. I will probably never understand why He allowed them to happen, but I don’t blame Him for it.
If I did, I wouldn’t be able to cling to Him as desperately as I have been these past 4 months.
If I blamed Him I couldn’t need him, and oh, do I need Him.
He has been here beside through every step and heartache. He was there with my family in both hospitals through every moment. He will continue to walk with us, and comfort us.
And I will continue to need Him.
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