The 72 Hour Club: Could a Good Sex Life Change Your Marriage?

Today, I’ll be starting a new series called “The 72 Hour Club”.

Better than striving to be in the “Mile High Club” and less crazy than joining a “Fight Club”, this is a club around one commitment.

GOODSEX A commitment to making sexual intimacy in your marriage a priority by engaging in sex or other physical intimacy with your spouse at least once every 72 hours.

Two facts that I’d read several years ago started this idea in my head…

  • Men actually have a physiological need for sexual release every  72 hours driven by physical changes in hormone levels and sperm production.
  • A man who has gone more than 72 hours since sexual relations with his wife will be more tempted by sexual sin.

(This is a good point to point out, I’m not a sex expert or scholar, just a wife with a heart to bless my husband and an avid reader of Christian-based marriage books.  Two books that discuss this 72-hour cycle that influenced me were Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, and Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman.)

The idea…could marriages be transformed by the simple commitment to respect & respond to our husband’s God-given needs for sexual intimacy and to make this aspect of our marriages a priority?

I first tested this theory in my own marriage.  This divinely inspired idea, as I believe it was, came at a very difficult time for us.  God has restored our marriage from the brink of divorce just two years prior, but the wounds inflicted during those times were still being revealed, forgiven and healed.  I mention this to say, it was not an easy commitment to make at the time.  But, what I experience was God using these intimate moments, the holy connection to each other and to Him, to bring deep & lasting healing in our relationship.  It was far more than we’d ever accomplished in marriage counseling or other ways we’d attempted to connect.

That was over two years ago, and well not always perfectly, this commitment is still one I maintain in our relationship.  It is how we keep our connections, including the emotional and spiritual intimacy within our marriage, and the feeling of oneness under God at the forefront of our married life.

I shared a bit of this idea in a post last summer and it got lots of comments, especially from my local friends, including “My husband says it is no wonder why Dave is always at work with a smile on his face.”  The interesting conversations it started got me thinking even more.

I decided to take this experiment one step further and this past month, I invited a group of ladies to make this commitment as well.  They were welcomed in to “The 72 Hour Club”.

They were all Christian wives seeking to improve their marriages.  Some felt the commitment would be challenging.  Others didn’t think it would be too far outside their current norms.  Within a few hours of my Facebook post, eight ladies had made the 72 Hour commitment for 30 days.  Not all of them finished, but all of them provided some interesting feedback as I asked them to look at different facets of their relationship and answer questions during each week of the 30 day journey.

So, could a good sex life change your marriage?

I certainly think so, and I’ll share with you my experiences, and those of these fearless eight women during the next several weeks.  Come back each Tuesday as I tour you through “The 72 Hour Club”.


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