When conflict arises between you and your spouse, how do you know whether you need to just let it go, take it to God in prayer and let Him work in your spouse, or confront your spouse and discuss the issue?
The second part of this question presents a wonderful way to “test” whether something is a “let it go” issue or something that needs to be confronted…”take it to God in prayer”. By humbly taking our issues to God first, He can guide us as to what we need to do next. After prayer we may feel the perceived wrong of our situation lifted or sense in our Spirit that “hey – maybe this is a bit petty, or selfish, or prideful, or __(fill in sinful human attribute here)__.” This is a pretty clear signal that the issue here is ourselves.
Many times I tried to pray through a situation, asking God to reveal my part, to change me, to work in my spouse if needed, only to find the issue continues to remain. The hurt doesn’t dissipate or the offense continues, and then I realize that I need to share this with my husband. Actually, after our years together, Dave has become wise to my ways. If he senses something is bothering me, he’ll ask and he knows not to take “Nothing” for an answer. Sometimes Dave won’t need to probe me, because through my prayers, I’m filled with God reassurance and confidence to bring this up with the one human being on this earth commanded to love me, my dear husband.
Sometimes, I am quite convinced that this dear husband of mine is the problem. So, when it is time to just “let Him work in your spouse”? If this is a reoccurring conflict, something you have brought up to your spouse, something you’d hoped he would change, but that change has not yet come…do not nag. If you feel like you are nagging, stop. Stop, pray and let God work on that within your spouse. Remember the warning us woman receive in Proverbs 21:19…
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
It is quite certain that nagging will not bring about the change you are looking for in your relationship. You’ll drive your marriage into a dry, dark and lonely place. The opposite of nagging our husbands is to encourage them, and this will be my topic for May!
Come back next week to discuss the dreaded CONFRONTATION!
What do you do when you are tempted to “nag”?
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