Last week, I talked about the emotional intimacy that can be created from a lively sex life. Today, I want to discuss the spiritual intimacy. More specifically, could improving your sex life improve your spiritual life?
When we think of sex with our spouse as a physical task, then it can begin to feel like a chore. “Okay, day 3. Must have sex today.” But, when we start to feel the benefits of an active sex life, and hopefully, start to embrace the intimate connections that are created, it becomes a much different thing. It becomes less and less of a physical act, and more of an emotional, relational and spiritual act.
The world and our culture are a huge enemy to seeing sex this way. They have tried to make sex into just a physical thing. If this worldly mindset has been part of your past, it may be time to ask God to renew your mind in this area. I will admit that I wasn’t someone who understood or obeyed God’s design of sex until I was already into my marriage. The way I once thought of sex and the actions this lead to in my life are things that I’ve had to pray for forgiveness and ask God to restore within my heart & my mind.
I have friends who have struggled in a different way. Growing up in the church, they were given the impression that sex is “bad” and therefore have struggled to embrace it within their marriages. Truthfully, there are so many things that keep sex from being all the God intended it to be – abuse, perversions, insensitivity as sex is pushed through media & marketing.
But, what God intended sex to be is a beautiful reflection of the deep intimacy He desires to have with us, that He designed us to desire to have with Him. Being naked and unashamed. Being vulnerable and wholly giving yourself to another. It is a figurative expression of the intimacy God offers us through the Gospel.
As we work out the issues that hold us back from fully experiencing this intimacy with our spouse, we are in fact, drawing closer to understanding & embracing the deep intimacy that God offers each of us to experience with Him.
One of the ways I’ve started to move my heart towards sex as a spiritual act is through prayer! Yes, sometimes I pray that God will give me the desire for my husband on this night when I just want to go to sleep, but I know our relationship is in need of reconnecting. When I’m annoyed by his advances because I’m preoccupied with my own agenda, I pray that God will remove the distractions and allow me to give my husband the reassurance he is looking for as my man. We often pray together after sex too. This is a new facet of our sex life, but it is a special moment to be wrapped in the arms of my husband and hear him thanking God for me, for our love, for God’s blessing on us. If you find this odd or awkward in your relationship now, you can always send these prayers up yourself, and add to your prayers your desire to have this be something you do with your spouse.
Do you struggle to see sex with your spouse as not just a physical act, but a spiritual one? What things to you do that helps you and your spouse recognize your sex life as something that builds spiritual intimacy?
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