The age old question is which came first, the chicken or the egg?
When two things can’t exist without the other, you have to wonder which comes first. The same question can be asked when it comes to the connection between emotional and sexual intimacy in a marriage.
She’s looking for an emotional connection. When she feels it, she feels more drawn to her husband physically. When it isn’t there, it can be hard to get the libido in action.
He needs sexual intimacy to feel drawn to his wife emotionally. When it isn’t there, it can be hard for him to feel connected and valued as a man. When it is, it ignites within him the desires to nurture & provide for his wife’s needs, including her need for emotional intimacy.
So, what do you do if your marriage is in a bad cycle where no emotional connection is leading to no sexual connection which is then leading to even more emotional distance, and therefore, even less sex? (And round, and round, and round…)
My advice to all you hens; jump the rooster.
Don’t wait for an egg to pop up out of no where. Don’t wait and let the foxes of distance, resentment, adultery have a chance to get into your marriage coop. Give your rooster a reason to crow and you’ll soon find that your nest is full of the intimacy you are craving.
And if you are a rare rooster reading my post, go court that lovely hen of yours! Ask her some questions and genuinely care about her answers. Let her share. I know, we hens can really cluck, but remember, this is how we feel connected. And don’t be afraid to strut in front of us a little. Every good rooster knows how to strut for his hen.
If you want to start a good cycle of intimacy in your marriage that meets both of your needs, someone has to be willing to be selfless and put the other’s needs before their own. Don’t be two chickens on opposites sides of the road. One chicken must cross. The more mature, courageous and loving chicken will be willing to cross the road of marital disconnect. Don’t you want that chicken to be you?
Find out more about the 72 Hour Club, a commitment to improve your marriage by being sexual intimate with your spouse at least once every 72 hours, by reading more here.
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