I guess I’m on the hook to share “the with”. Not that there’s any pressure or anything. I’m only the husband of the 72 hour club creator and FLT author, Danielle, and my answer is expected to fall in-line ;-). However, I think I will go in a different direction.
There was a time in our marriage when 72 hours would have been the time in between how often I actually shared a bed with my wife, not between how often we were actually intimate. She traveled for her job and spent weekends away working on her Master’s degree. Soon we found our marriage was falling apart, or more accurately, being torn apart by our selfishness as we blamed the other person for being so wrong while ignoring our own part.
There was fighting. There was counseling. There were even steps towards reconciliation.
But nothing transformed our marriage, until…
At one point, my wife took to heart Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” She stopped fighting back. She started to serve more in our home. She prayed continuously. She started seeking out and putting into practice what a Christian wife was supposed to look like, and with that, she started giving her body to her husband because it was as much his as it was hers.
Did it really make a difference? You be the judge.
I took responsibility as the spiritual leader of our family. I began attending a men’s group, going outside of my comfort zone, as I began seeking my role as a Christian husband. I started making a church a priority, came up with family values with which to raise our children under. I instituted a standard in our house that Mom is the Queen and should be treated as such, and then taught that to our boys by example.
She grew. I grew. And best of all, we began to grow towards Christ together.
How did the commitment to our sex life affect this all? To me, and to many men (not all), it provides the physical connection we were designed by God to crave, which in turn makes the emotional and spiritual connections possible. It was the muscle behind the Christian walk my wife started in faith, with no guarantee of reward. With it I heard the message, ” I am truly with you right where you are and I’ll stay right alongside you until you get on board. ”
Just a few weeks ago, we had our 5th son, bringing our household to 5 boys ages 6 and under. We often hear, “I don’t know how you do it”. Quite frankly, we don’t either. However, I do know that the bond we share, which is reinforced by our sexual intimacy, let’s me know that we are in it together with Christ. The 3 of us make one, and that oneness is what helps us hold up against the world.
And I’ll get up everyday to battle for that, knowing full well that my wife is right by my side.
– Dave
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