If you are totally unsure of what The 72 Hour Club is, you’ll want to revisit my post from last week called, The 72 Hour Club: Could a Good Sex Life Change Your Marriage?
Moving on this week, I want to talk about one of the most frequently noted obstacles that my experimental group shared with me. It is one I can related to completely.
Exhaustion. We are tired.
And rightfully so! The demands on a wife are numerous with husband, kids, career, home, ministry work, friendships, appointments, errands……etc., etc. We are on the move from the moment our feet hit the floor and when we are finally laying those feet back under the covers, we are spent.
I’m reworking a post I did on this topic a year and a half ago to share with you some of the things I do to combat weariness and prepare to connect with my husband, and I’d love to hear yours in the comments.
Have you seen that saying, “Mothers of little boys work from son up to son down.” Well, I have four little boys – ages 5, 4, 2 and 1…and I’m 4 1/2 months pregnant. I am no stranger to exhaustion, neither is my husband, in fact, I can’t remember the last time we asked each other, “How are you feeling today?” and the answer wasn’t “Tired.” For us, weariness is the #1 enemy to our commitment for a vibrant sex life.
- Do a little planning. If you know you are in the last 24 hours of your 72, then put “Lovin’ with Hubby” on the to-do list. At the top. Then, make the choices around that to give it the priority it deserves. Early bedtime for kids (and you)? Forget the show you want to watch or the last thing you wanted to get done and go to bed together.
- Store up some energy. Once I know that “tonight’s the night”, I try to prepare myself by not running myself down to empty. This might mean trying for a more relaxed day at home with the boys, skipping some of the labor intensive chores like toting laundry up and down 2 flights of stairs, and taking a nap when the kids do to recharge. A big one for me…ICED COFFEE. I brew a little extra in the morning and find that post-nap, it provides just the pick-me-up to push through the evening events and still have a little extra steam for my husband. Your husband can help with this too. Why not have the Hubby stop for some take out and bring dinner home to save on some of the evening chaos? Tell him you’re saving your dinner-making energy for dessert :-).
- Build up anticipation…for you and for him. Again, since I usually have some idea that there is some hanky panky in store for the day, I try to have fun with my husband to build up the anticipation. Maybe a little hint in an email or text, a note on the bathroom mirror, or a passionate kiss as he leaves instead of the normal quick peck.
“The anticipation has been fun — texting or a quick email during the day brings him home happy, willing, eager to help put the kids to bed and more thoughtful as we get ready for bed!” – A 72 Hour Club Member
- Shift gears. It can be hard to go from Mommy to Hot Mama. Try to figure out what helps you downshift your gears so you can rev his engine. For me, this is often a shower or bath before bed. I save my favorite scented and more pricey lotions & potions for this time of the day. Sometimes, Daddy will offer to do bathtime duty while I unwind in the bedroom with some music playing and a book. The sound of wound up, dirty kids getting gracefully handled and clean all by my serving, sexy husband can be such a turn on!
- Set the mood. My new favorite thing for me to set the mood is my Pandora station called “Lovin’”, and several other 72 Hour Club Members mentioned using the same strategy. Better than shagging to the 11 o’clock news, right? Add some candles on the nightstand or at least pick up the clutter and create a restful love nest.
- In the end, give it a go. Some days, I can do all of these things and still just not be feeling it. Let’s face it, sometimes it is not just weariness that hampers our limbido, but hormones or stress or sickness. Usually, a good and regularly satisfied husband isn’t going to be too concerned with a pass for the night, but be careful how you let him down. You’d be surprise how sensitive guys can be to rejection in this department. And, sometimes even though I might not be feeling it quite yet (and my husband can sense it), I playfully say “Convince me” and give it a go. I find he’s pretty persuasive and the feeling of closeness and connection is well worth it. It may even subside that weariness, stress and sickness.
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